When Sweet V, opened I had every intention of gleefully jaunting down to check out something other than the grease ridden drivel I am so used too. Something or another kept me away, but on a recent birthday, the love of my life made a point to get us a table for two, thus launching the most heart-warming surprise of the summer season. An amazing, moderately priced, dinner at, get this, a B.Y.O at the beach.

Back in Philly, BYO’s became all the rage about a decade ago along with UGGs. Small restrauntuer wannabes found it easy and cheap to create amazing dining experiences in a small space. About 5 years ago the tapas thing caught on. Since that was about the time I was heavy into “portion controlled diets,” I bought into it like a South Philadelphian to a Eagles championship run. Fun, but not overly satisfying. Those not familiar with tapas, allow me to educate. Tapas, are basically small plates of food. I love that restaurants admit nowadays that you are getting, a “small plate of food.” Truth of the matter is the portions are what we should be eating, but Americans like poundage, not ouncage. So long story short, over in Spain, King Alfonso X or as I like to call him Fonzie the Wise, recovered from an illness by dinning on wine mixed with small dishes between meals. Once the king was back on his feet (thank you inebriation), he ordered that taverns were not allowed to serve wine to customers unless the beverage was accompanied by a small snack or tapa, thus creating the world’s first “drunk food.”

Tapas are not just Spanish food anymore. You can find nearly any type of tapas and ethnic combination, the trick is though…you can’t on LBI. That is until little Sweet V opened her doors. Quickly and right up front they label them selves as tapas Americana. I statement I cannot fully argue. Their menu was varied, and while some items leaned towards an Italian influence, there was always an element to the plate to give it a very distinct YOU! ES! AY! brand. But I am getting ahead of myself(the food did excite me), so lets recant the evening.

The Love of my Life had gone ahead and made reservations for us, seeing as it was my birthday and she wanted to make sure we got seated. In retrospect, this was probably a good idea. The place was busy and full from the moment we stepped in the door. Not a seat was empty. Oddly enough, it wasn’t obnoxious to be in either. Most restaurants that are packed (especially at the beach) has a typical loudness to it. Whether that be screaming kids, crashing dishes, or someone complaining about something. Not here. The waitstaff was extremely well organized, the ambiance was serene albiet trying stightly too hard to be hip, black painted drop ceiling?, and the surrounding crowd was quite pleasant.

Ok enough with the formalities, onto the food. Immediately upon sitting, we are given warm bread and pesto. Score. I’m a sucker for pesto, and one of the tricks with tapas is to actually eat a little bread to avoid ordering the entire menu. The pesto was perfecto, hard to screw up, but you’d be surprised. Our waitress (Vanessa?) informed us that we can order whatever we want, and she will bring it out in the correct pairings. Part of me wanted to play the jerk and just order stuff willy nilly that match as well as bell-bottoms and Hawaiian shirts, but I avoided the urge. Between the both of us we ordered 7 plates, two too many probably but we’ll get to that.

Our first presentations, Tuna Tartar, and Marinated Watermelon. Considering we are on an island, it says something when I say this is the first time in many a years that I have been served perfect Tuna. Melted in the mouth, perfect texture Tuna. It’s glistening dollop garnished with seasame and wasabi mayo was something just shy of perfection. The last time I was served tuna this amazing was by a guy named Crazy Gary, and he had just caught and sliced the thing on the dock down by the now extinct Garabo’s marina. I was 14. The watermelon was extremely interesting. It had a wonderful bite to it following up the Tuna, and I was trying to figure out the marinade half the time as the flavors kept blending so well. The ensalde course was a success.

Upon finishing only minutes passed by before our second course was under our nose. The Crab & Yogurt (brilliant) Brushetta had just enough tinges of each, so that one wouldn’t over power. The LOML was hesitant at first because she thought it was just some mayonaise ridden seafood on a bagette. The yogurt countered the crab wonderfully, making much lighter. She was definitely prefering her seared tuna, however. If the first tuna dish wasn’t proof of the existence of heaven, the seared tuna made sure. The only few hiccups in the evening followed. The first being that the couple behind us were presented a wine list. LOML felt slighted at this because she was very clearly told on the phone that it’s a BYO. We didn’t explore the matter thinking maybe it was a list from across the street or not, but I do veer on the side of, “Well are you or aren’t you?”

The second hiccup came with our final serving, which again took mere minutes, but it was the risotto. Now, admittly, I’m fulll on italian and some things I am slightly less forgiving about, but the Mushroom & White Truffle laced Risotto was slightly under-cooked. I know, a real deal breaker. It was extremely heavy, and instead of “for two” we probably could have gotten away with “for one.” Also the chuck of parmigiano sticking aloft was stale and quite frankly an expensive garnish. It was still something just shy of amazing, and complimented our entree dishes very well. The sea scallops were hefty and melted like butter, and the crab fritters were a fitting finish. Definitely not our favorite dish, but everything else was so out of the park, how can one possibly bat .1000. The real surprise of the evening, was a dish I had flat out forgotten that I had ordered. Mostly I order this dish out of shear Italian habit, but when I see the word gazpacho on the menu I get as giddy as a Corleone at a wedding. Now, the taste, we’ll get to in a minute, but the award for most creative presentation ever seen on THIS island, has to be for this grouping of dishes. The Tiger Shrimp Gazpacho came served in 3 double tequlia shooters, honey stuck to a long platter with the largest tiger shrimp in creation standing at attention waiting for Patton’s speach. It showed massive personality, and I want more of it. The gazpacho itself was brilliant, ice cold with some Mexican heat.

The perfect place for some adult conversation, and drinking. Sweet V will satisfy your stomach and not break your wallet. Our 7 dishes (which was by and large probably 2 too many) was roughly $80, and worth every last penny. So do Alfonso a propper, and give thanks to the tapas king next time you are out in Beach Haven.

Oh and to the LomL, you don’t love a woman because she’s beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her. Thank you for a wonderful birthday.

So with that in mind, I tackle one of the Stefano’s regime, The California Grill & Pizza. Why them? Cause I liked their chowder last year during chowderfest, and I haven’t had a chance to drink from their Loins of Creamy Desire since. So it seemed like the place to start.

My 3 word summation: Decent, Average & Cheap

Decent goes to the food. The menu is actually quite varied for a typical grill. It goes beyond the typical burger, cheese steak attempt, chicken sandwich to include some Mexican affair. Of which, I am a fan. Not expecting so, I went ahead and ordered a chicken burrito, Old Bay fries and of course, a bowl of New England. The New England doesn’t need much reviewing. It was last years champion, and still holds its own. A triple C all the way, Creamy, Cheesey, Cheap. Yes, unlike some chowder places on this island, you aren’t breaking out the debit card to nosh on a a simple bowl of chowder. This one only set me back $3. This begs repeating in case anyone in particular is reading this let alone taking notes. IT ONLY COST $3. A bread bowl would be $6. Not $12. Six. The Old Bay Fries were, well, Old Bay and fries. Nothing to write home about, but also not a total fail. Same for the burrito. No I take that back, the burrito was better than most down here. A good size without going over the top, a lot of chicken, and it was flavorful. All in all a Decent meal.

The ambiance is pretty much Average. It’s a grill. I wasn’t expecting any. It wasn’t Valentine’s Day and I wasn’t out to woo a prospective lady friend. So unless you are 14, and your parents will only let you take your date within a 1 block radius of the homestead, go somewhere else. The waitstaff was courteous, and they didn’t screw up my order. The only plus it has over some of the other stop ins is the outside seating. Yes it’s the beach there should be outside seating, but you’d be surprised how many places actually don’t.

Which brings us to the Cheap. A typical family of four will spend a good penny down here on food. In fact one of the best ways to enjoy a vacation, at least in my vast experience is to turn it into a week long tailgate. Fire up the BBQ and don’t turn it off till you leave. THAT, would be the cheap way. However, being as people are on vacation, they don’t want to cook. So your options are limited. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. Let’s assume you are prepared to drop a Benjamin on dinner. Ok, hope you were prepared to drop that on breakfast too. Which leaves the lunch, as the “oh please god don’t make it $300 a day on food” dish. Well, the California Grill and a handful of other eateries manage to feed the fam, without starving the bank account, which in my book, goes a long way. Old Bay Fries, Cup of Award-winning Chowder, and a Chicken Burrito = $14 + tax. I was actually kind of full off the Chowder too. I had forgotten how hearty it was. So save the dough for a babysitter Thursday night and treat the wife to a nice Sweet Vidalia dinner. The kid’s palette isn’t developed enough to note a difference anyways.

Rating: ★★★½☆